Update June 2022: Bear Market, Options, Life in Germany

In June, our net worth fell by 5.93% in USD and 3.04% in EUR to $115,344 and €110,695 respectively. Liquid net worth was at $83,151/€79,800.

The Bear Market

The S&P 500 officially entered a bear market in June, but this has felt like a bear market to me for awhile. I was holding stocks like Netflix, Facebook, Amazon, Paypal, and Cloudflare from 2021 into 2022, and they're down much more than 20%. It's funny: I knew holding that stuff was really risky, but I couldn't see a way out. I didn't want to sell and pay taxes, so I just held and watched money evaporate. Dumb.

However, even when I did sell, I'd often buy shares in a different company that hadn't started falling yet but inevitably would. For example, if I sold Cloudflare or Square I'd put the money in Amazon. So there was this sense that there was nowhere to run: stay in the name and lose money or sell to buy something "safer" and still lose money.

The names in my individual stock portfolio have gotten progressively more boring. One advantage is that they aren't nearly as correlated, even though on the really bad days, they still all fall together. But at least it's not one big tech trade, which rises or falls based on how the world is viewing tech as a whole.

Painful as this has been, I have learned a lot:

• Be careful of correlations.
• Valuation eventually does matter.
• Paying taxes is better than a crash.

Lastly, this experience has convinced me that most of my money should be in a basket of diversified ETFs, where single stock risk won't wreck my day.

Options Trading

In June, I bought and sold my first options contracts. This is small potatoes, but I bought a call option and sold it the same day, and I'm holding on to a few puts on the overall stock market.

I've long wanted to be able to buy this kind of insurance on my portfolio, but I just didn't follow through with my broker. That said, because it's new, and because it's risky, I don't want to commit a lot of money to this. I remember on Reddit's /r/Wallstreetsbets when there were a few weeks of easy gains for the guys who bought weekly calls on SPY. Inevitably a bunch of other people followed and bet huge sums only to see their options expire worthless.

I recognize the risk that goes along with options trading, and I'll size accordingly.

Life in Germany Right Now

The other day, my wife and I along with a group of others assisted a Ukrainian family move in to a new home. They obviously don't know anyone, so organizations have sprung up to help house them. The family, like many such families coming to Germany, consisted of a mother and her children: the men tend to stay behind in Ukraine.

During this last week, the power company Uniper said that they might need financial assistance from the Bundesregierung due to rising gas prices in addition to lower gas flows from Russia. As I wrote in my last piece, we were asked by our local power company to pay more for our electricity due to the current price realities. When we first moved in, our electricity was around 24 cents per kWh vs. the 39 cents we're now paying. Electricity prices have always felt high here, but now every click of a light bulb or every drop of warm water feels consequential.

The whole situation is unsettling, and it's only summer now: few people use air conditioning here. What happens in the winter when we're all cranking up the heat? I don't know.

There are shortages too, though they're limited to specific items. For example, my employer told us to conserve paper due to a paper shortage. Canola oil in Germany is now basically a distant memory.

Weird as it may sound, I've begun asking myself what event would cause me to buy some plane tickets and bail on Germany. My usual trigger is something like the war expanding into other countries or hitting a NATO country.

I don't want to leave though. It's really a very pleasant country to live in. So let's hope for some kind of peaceful resolution to this violent madness.

Forecasting

My wife and I will be leaving this week to enjoy our summer vacations. We're going to France, so there's clearly still plenty of fun to be had in Europe, despite the present reminders of hardship. Afterwards I'll be flying to the US. I need to hug my family members and, ahem, log into my US accounts from the address I claim as my residence (haha).

And with a vacation comes expenses, but it also comes with my employer's summer bonus. So I've sent off a lot of money - for me - to the various savings account, and I think I've set aside enough for the two of us to enjoy ourselves. My wife also needs a new computer, so that will take a bite out of us.

Until next time, take care. Enjoy yourself in whatever way makes you happiest.

Margin

I sold some positions yesterday in my brokerage account. They passed my selling rules and on the whole I made a small profit with those positions, but I wouldn't have sold them except I wanted to close out my use of margin.

I used margin in my brokerage for the past year, and although my timing was shit, and its use probably amplified the loss I'm sitting on now, the loss isn't what bothered me about it. Instead, it was the mental games it played with me that forced me finally to shut it down.

Dangerous Thinking and Actions

I don't write this blog to give anyone else advice. I'm not a money professional, and I don't want anyone to think my word is correct or actionable. But I do want to point out a few of the dangerous lines of thinking and risks that margin use exposed me to, and maybe someone else will find this helpful.

Careless Security Selection

When it's borrowed money, I found it easier to buy stuff that I otherwise might not have bought. It was easier to say, I'll buy a bit more here on this pullback. I'll buy this security just 'cause. The dividend is higher than the interest I'd be paying. I'll day-trade just this once... twice... three times....

Looking at some of the stuff I'm still holding, all of that thinking was stupid. I have stuff I shouldn't have bought. I took risks that were unnecessary. I'm sitting on losses that will take several years to recover from. It's not the end of the world, but it was a mistake.

Constant Desire to Close Out my Margin Use

This is more stressful than financially destructive, but I thought a lot about my margin use, and I was always itching to sell to close it out. That's just stressful, and I don't want to live my life worrying about that. And speaking of stress...

Constant Need to Check the Portfolio

Because I was using margin, there was always the risk of a margin call. I never borrowed all that much, but the possibility was always there, and so I told myself I needed to regularly check the portfolio.

Well, if you constantly checked your portfolio this past year, you were probably pretty stressed out by it with all the volatility. Checking the portfolio probably contributed to some of the buying and selling that I regret in the past year because I got worried about a big crash wiping me out.

Playing Russian Roulette with Risk

As Nassim Taleb says, some risks are like playing Russian roulette with a gun that has hundreds of chambers. The likelihood of the bullet going off is low, and because it doesn't go off, you forget that there's a bullet in the gun.

I backtested the percentage of margin that I used, and the margin call bullet never went off in my tests. But it doesn't mean that it couldn't have. Especially because so much trading is done by computers, there's always the possibility that something crazy happens that causes a major after hours fall in prices that triggers the margin call. Because my broker insta-liquidates once that point has been reached, there was always the possibility of being forced to sell at crazy low prices even if the prices quickly recover.

That's an unacceptable risk. Last June, my broker had a glitch and sent out an email to many of its customers that their maintenance margin limit had been reached and their portfolio was liquidated. I literally woke up to read this email, and I'll never forget that feeling. The first thoughts were how I was going to discuss this with my wife. Perhaps World War III had started while we were sleeping and the world market crashed.

Eventually, I figured out that it was a glitch, but the fact that it was even a possibility that I could have considered hasn't sat well with me since.

This is Hard Enough

I buy individual stocks, and that's hard enough. Some of them may go bankrupt. I've sold a few for losses, which sucks, but on the whole, I believe that the portfolio will march higher as a group, despite some individual losers.

But using margin exposes me to something else entirely. It exposes me to permanent loss of capital based on price swings alone. It exposes me to risk that takes me out of the game entirely. My wife and I earned and saved this money by sacrificing pleasure now for gains later, and taking permanent capital loss risk with that is stupid and foolish.

Some instruments, such as shorting or options use, force you to use some kind of margin. I don't want to say that no one should do those things because they're useful. I respect smart short sellers. I respect that people can figure out options and appreciate the kind of insurance they can provide a portfolio.

But I don't have to. No one has to do that kind of stuff because just buying securities at reasonable prices in reasonable amounts and holding is hard enough without worrying whether I get to be in the game another day.

Why Save?

A colleague of mine was told recently by his boss that he had two days to visit his dying mother. She's in North America. He's in Germany. If you haven't made that flight, it's basically a day per trip. If he wanted more time, he could personally hire a replacement, whom he would have to pay himself.

I have long believed in saving, but this was a strong reminder. It was like an extra push on a slowly turning wheel.

Keep saving!

We should save because it gives us options. We should save because we hate being forced into a corner and accepting something just because we're forced to financially. Don't you hate that? That feeling of being stuck? I do.

Once we've saved enough, we have all sorts of choices. Before then, we have few choices.

I asked myself what I would do if in that situation. Right now, I'd probably accept it even though I've saved a bit. But in a few years, I hope to be able to say without much second thought, "Then it's been a pleasure working with you," and quit.

My colleague is in constant financial distress. He's quite open about it. Mortgage. New gadgets. Car loan. Expensive hobbies. The usual story.  He has few choices in this most recent situation. He has few choices in all sorts of situations. I really don't know what he'll do. Sometimes I just want to shake him.

But I don't know the magic words that would get him to change without him just resenting me, so I just try to be a good example and not heap too much praise on his expensive stuff. And I'll write here, to remind you and to remind me to keep at it.

Give yourself options.

Save.